Hi.
I was thinking today while standing in formation that the army isn't for me. I have too much of a free will. I want to laugh whenever I can, talk whenever I can, sleep whenever I can, eat whenever I can, smile whenever I can, and just think for myself and to be an individual and not some robot made identical to every other robot here. I only have one hour to be myself...but that's not enough time. I want the whole day. I feel way too restricted, and you know how I hate feeling restricted. I'd like to look around, to observe what's around me and take it in but I can't.
On Sunday I'm going to talk to a chaplain. Get my options and see what I can do. I want to pursue my musical talent. I could've gotten a record deal before I came here, and I feel by the time I get out of AIT my opportunity will be gone. I don't want that. Not at all. I was rolling like a perfect cylinder...now I just feel I hit a bring wall. Like I'm going nowhere. And upon that wall, in big while block letters, is the word "ARMY"...
Oh no! Kent told me this happens with ALL recruits the first week. We told him to hang in there. I don't know if he did see the chaplain, but his next letter was more encouraging.
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