Friday, July 18, 2003


I am so exhausted. I'm pooped. I don't know why, maybe it's from working so hard to get a new build of my application in production. Maybe it's from dealing with my employees low moral. Maybe it's from all the change at work. I come home and want to sleep sleep sleep. Maybe it's from knowing there are things I need to do, bills to pay, things to fix around the house, and I feel too overwhelmed to deal with them. I wake up and every bone in my body aches. I have to go back to the doctor for a checkup and I keep forgetting to call until late in the day when they've already closed. I want to slap my self in the face, like Cher from Moonstruck - "snap out of it!" I have to think of a speech for next Thursday for Toastmasters. Maybe I should talk about exhaustion, and little things you can do to combat it.

Maybe it's just that my depression is flairing up and I just need to get through it.

The other day I was in the elevator complaining about the heat. The other woman in the elevator commented, "Well, duh, coffee and long sleeves..." I thought two things: 1. you're a complete stranger why are you talking to me like that and 2. it's 95 degrees outside it has nothing to do with my coffee and long sleeves. I could be drinking iced tea and wearing a tank top and it would still be hot. In fact, the sleeves were 3/4 length and the tunic was a beathable lightweight fabric. Later in the day I said something similar about the heat and yet another woman nearby said "Duuuuh, long sleeves...." What is this: the less you wear the more comfortable you'll be? I should show up to work in the skimpy kind of clothes that the call center reps show up in? No thanks. I don't care for that woman anyway. She's a bit too cynical even for my taste. Lots of negativity. Ha! Looks who's talking.

"Duh" has crept back into our speech; grown adults sounding like a teenager with the vocabulary of a gnat.

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