On Jan 24 we received a letter from Nick's commanding officer telling us that Nick hadn't returned to Fort Gordon. But didn't we drop him off at the airport? Well, no, actually. We didn't. He spent his last night in town with a friend who was going to take him to the airport. Apparently he didn't plan on returning. He'd been doing just fine, and was excited, until he caught up with his druggie friend, Trey, the last weekend of his vacation. Kent and I and Nick's friend, Lester, went to visit Nick at Trey's house, where we figured he was, and tried explaining what would happen if he didn't return. And he didn't return anyway. As of Feb 4th the Army considers him a deserter (absent without leave for more than 30 days). We haven't had a followup letter from his commander, though. I'm sure we'll see something soon since this is his home of record.
So, Nick is off drugging it up (I don't think it's anything stronger than pot) with Trey. If the Army goes all the way with this desertion thing, then Nick has pretty much ruined his chances for anything meaningful in the job market. We've both written several email to him, which we discovered he hasn't opened (long story). I'm very sad about this, and Kent and I have had an emotionally difficult few weeks. We're done reaching out to him - at least for now. We've been trying to for a couple of years and we're just tired of fighting. His inaction is exhausting.
In the meantime, Patrick has decided that he's going into the Army Reserves, as a Heavy Construction Equipment Operator in the Corps of Engineers. In other words, he wants to build and destroy things with bulldozers, cranes, and wrecking balls. Isn't that a dream for a lot of little kids? Apparently it still is for Patrick. His eyes actually sparkle when he talks about it. But the Reserves will put him through college (an engineering or architecture degree) and ask for about two more reserve years after that and his commitment is done unless he wants to go active duty. Heck, more power to him! He signed paperwork and everything. So, he's all relaxed and happy that his next six or so years are mapped out for him. And he still gets to row because he's going to ODU and they have pretty good rowing team.
Kent is in the middle of Coreolanus, which has gotten good reviews. He also finished his Master's (yay yay yay!! no more losing him to homework!). We've finished MASH through season 9. Season 10 isn't released yet. We just started watching Arrested Development (FOX). We figure that by the time season four is airing we'll have watched season's one, two, and three on DVD :) Funny funny show.
Best Buy sent off my laptop to Sony for a new LCD screen and ribbon. That was Tuesday, I think. Yesterday I got Nick's old computer out of the closet and fired it up. Patrick and his friend Jordon and having a combined birthday celebration tomorrow (Sunday) so today I was picking up the house and buying totally unhealthy snack food for them and their twelve friends. Patrick LOVES bakery cakes, especially the ones from Costco, so I got him a chocolate sheet cake from Costco.
And that's the news from Norfolk.
Good grief!!! That is news for sure. You have to wonder what is going on in Nick's head! I wish him the best, but as you say, he's pretty much wrecked his chances of getting a good job in the future. Patrick's plans sound more rational. I hope they turn out well and nothing goes wrong. He has always been a little bit more "feet on the ground" hasn't he? Nick used to stare off into space alot, as a young boy. I'm so sorry about this, and I know what kind of pain you are in. Let's just remember how Christopher through away his Edmonds AA because he and Irene had a fight. Now, at 29, he is finally getting his BA and has a great job and a little family. So there is hope. There's always hope. My heart is with you and Kent.
ReplyDeleteAnd I had my own share of bad decisions in my youth but neither of us suffered major long term consequences. In theory he's not straying far from some genetic path. As They say, the devil is in the details. I love that phrase.
ReplyDeleteAnd I got married when I was 18 and broke my parents' hearts.....
ReplyDeleteAnd Carolyn moved far far away. Our children give us great joy and great sadness, too.
ReplyDeleteA friend from WA (and mom's blog) -
ReplyDeleteI send you stamina and hope that this too shall pass - it is so painful to watch our kids make impulsive choices that can have such long-term consequences.
They are resilient, our offspring,
so hang on to that when all else fails.
bs
Thanks, brown shoes. I'm diverting myself by doing mom's nasal irrigation thing. I think it's working. And in the meantime, there is also Chocolate.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your son's mis-step. 1) It is not your fault. 2) It'll probably get worse before it gets better. For example, Kevin's been transferred from the King County jail to the Kitsap County jail, which he views in a positive light because it will erase all the current outstanding warrants against him. And at around 40 years of age, he'll get to start fresh ... on his warrants.
ReplyDeleteWhatever comes, it's most likely not your fault.
Thanks, fossilguy. Good news: I haven't been beating myself up wondering "what did I do wrong?" Ah well. You are probably right, it probably will get worse before it gets better. I'd heard about Kevin's ups and downs over the years and it is so strange to imagine him as a 40-yr old - my memory is of him at age 12 and I think that's the last time I saw him. How do you maintain a relationship with someone in those circumstances?
ReplyDeleteAny news???
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you pounds
of virtual chocolate.
bs
This is a most wonderful blogosphere when my blog friends get together with my daughter and hand her virtual chocolate and wisdom! That was really nice, what FossilGuy said. Not your fault, for sure!
ReplyDelete